This bit of sensible bar manners is brought to you by Stylez and the fine folks at MrSwagger.com.

Is there a right time to buy a stranger a drink? Is it just the right thing to do? Is a dude entitled to a dance or conversation because he does? This argument has caused hours of arguments in my personal crowd and so I have decided to tackle the issue once and for all. Before I move forward I plan on setting up guidelines for everyone to follow so pay close attention. First off let me start by setting up three of the common sense rules we should use when thinking about this issue:

First principle is – you don’t get something for nothing/nothing is free.

Second principle is – people’s expectations are rarely met.

And lastly – Don’t accept more than you are willing to give or expect more than you deserve.

Now let’s go ahead and look at the three of them as we create the rules.

So let’s start: Rule one: You don’t get something for nothing/nothing is free.

I have yet to have a conversation that is worth $10 to $20 dollars. In fact almost all the great conversations I have had were free. Ladies – if you think he is buying you a drink because of your conversational skills – you are wrong. Like every other man who does things for you, outside of your relatives, co-workers and gay buddies, he likes you. In fact he likes you enough that he is spending his hard earned money on a possibility (the possibility being that the alcohol affects you enough to make you start seeing him as the Billie Dee Smooth Mister Lover Mack Daddy he believes he truly is) or you are simply getting the drink as a fringe benefit. (He is buying shots for the bar and you happen to be standing there) Generally when a man buys you a drink – he is saying – “I like you” in some cases it means “I like your body” or “I want to get you drunk and take you home” but in all cases – he has an interest in you – even if it is temporary. Take it how you want to – it is a gesture and it isn’t free.

To make this clearer, ladies take a twenty dollar bill – throw it on the floor and walk away. That is what a man does when he buys you a drink. Would you do that without getting something for it? Enough said. Principle two: Peoples expectations are rarely met. Deluded gentlemen, what have we been smoking? Women have proven that they are superior to us in so many ways – yet we keep falling for the same old tricks. I am not saying give up – but realize a few things. Buying her a drink guarantees nothing – she has no obligation to you and you shouldn’t expect one for only 15-20 bucks. She does not have to dance with your goofy behind, she does not automatically become your girl, ( I still am trying to find a drink that good) or have to talk, chill, sit, look, smell, kiss or even deal with you. She is as free as she was when she walked in – get over it. In fact, she can take that drink you just bought her, go dance with your best friend/worst enemy and give it to him to drink. (I have received many a drink this way) Guess what, you gambled, you lost! Rule three: “Don’t accept more than you are willing to give or expect more than you deserve”, wraps it all up for both parties.

Ladies: Don’t accept more than you are willing to give.

Ladies – nothing is free – when you take his drink – he expects your time and attention – if you don’t want his time, attention, hands on your hips or breath in your face – don’t take his drink. If you take his drink you are breaking one of my rules, which allows him to break the rule and attempt to kiss, hug, dance, bump and grind or stalk you. It’s just fair that you play fair, and sadly that’s just the way it is.

Gentlemen: Don’t expect more than you deserve. 20 bucks isn’t that much – take a gamble, buy her a drink, but be realistic – would you hang out, dance, kiss, talk to or even pay attention to a woman you found unattractive or downright terrible simply because she gave you twenty bucks? Well some of you would do it for free (scary thought) but I am sure or hope that most of you are nodding no. If you won’t do it you can’t really be mad at a lady when she shows no interest in you just cause you spent your money. That was your fault, your gamble, your loss. Pick up your pride if you have any left and try again. So to conclude here are the basics:

• Rule 1. – Ladies if you don’t like him – don’t take his drink.

• Rule 2. Fellas – get realistic expectations.

• Rule 3. Fellas – do not buy a drink to impress/attract her – use your personality for that. If your personality can’t do that a drink doesn’t give you a chance – and she won’t stick around.

• Rule 4. Ladies – let him know, through your sexy signaling, a wink etc etc if you like him and plan on dancing, talking or breaking it down with him on the dance floor prior to him spending his hard earned money, playing fair is the right way to do it and karma is a b**** with a bad attitude.

We want to know what you think. Do these rules apply to you or, if they don’t, which do?

Thanks again to MrSwagger.Com

 

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Tags: Dating, Manners, Men, Women